When you are invited to what seems like the millionth cocktail party, holiday extravaganza or business party, it is OK to say no. Connect with your intuition. When you hear your inner voice yearning to curl up on the couch with a book instead, listen to it. That is you expressing what you need. Don’t second guess it. It will always steer you in the right direction.

It’s OK to start your own holiday traditions.

People change. If going home for the holidays is now more draining than fun, it may be because you no longer resonate with your family members. It may be time to stay home and create your own traditions with your spouse and kids, or special friends who you enjoy spending time with.

Take time for self-care and treat yourself exquisitely. Taking time to care for yourself during the busy holiday season is especially important. Instead of feeling unworthy or selfish, it’s time to remind yourself how valuable, deserving and amazing you are. Without taking time to nourish and nurture yourself, you will end up with very little physically, emotionally and spiritually to give to others during this special time. Take time to focus on eating healthy, getting plenty of rest and relaxation. This may include taking a relaxing bath, reading a good book or even treating yourself to a spa treatment. The more you fill your own cup, the more loving, relaxed energy you will be able to share with others.

Protect your energetic space. There will be parties and events that you will want to go to. Unfortunately, you may encounter people who leave you feeling drained, irritable and miserable. Stay conscious of your own energy while engaging with others, and give yourself permission to politely excuse yourself from any conversation or situation that leaves you feeling bad. Your energetic space is sacred and should be treated that way. It is OK for you to protect yourself and keep your personal boundaries intact.

When all else fails, just breathe. When all else fails, connect to your breath; it is your secret gift to yourself. It will calm you when you are feeling stressed or anxious, ground you in the middle of the holiday chaos and connect you to yourself when you feel overwhelmed and disconnected.

A great breathing technique for calming yourself is to inhale slowly through your nose for the count of 4, hold your breath for the count of 8 and exhale slowly through your mouth for the count of 12. Your thoughts and body will follow your breath. If you breathe in a way that is slow and steady, your body will recognize the signal and calm down.

Most importantly, check in with yourself frequently to see how you are energetically. You are the best judge of how you are feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually. There is no need feel obligated to keep up with others during the holiday season. Just remember self-care is the most loving gift you can give to yourself. Speaking up, saying no and setting boundaries will support you in feeling your best during the holiday season and long after it is over.

Robin Feldmus-Matteo, owner of Peaceology Wellness Center, is a Master Energy Medicine Practitioner, Certified Jin Shin Jyutsu Practitioner, Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner, Master Chakra Therapist, Author, Speaker and Spiritual Leader. She specializes in getting to the root cause of the body’s imbalance and works with her clients on Self-care and Self-love. She offers single sessions, packages and workshops at her wellness center in Woodbridge. For more information, call 732-567-7176 or email [email protected].