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Natural Awakenings Central New Jersey

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Deep Talking: Deepening the Dialogue

Apr 29, 2022 09:30AM ● By Ronica O’Hara
A child and adult sitting on the floor talking

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When the going gets tough in a blended family, an Oprah Winfrey-endorsed dialogue technique known as Imago Therapy can help transform animosity into harmony. As laid out by relationship therapist Harville Hendrix in his New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want, it involves specific conversational steps that ensure each side is heard and responded to with empathy. 

“Imago is effective for parents of blended families because it teaches them to listen and validate the feelings of the children, as well as to better communicate with each other about the challenges,” says Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, of Baltimore, whose own marriage was saved by the process and who, with his wife Rivka, teaches it to couples. “If your children are not adjusting well, it is important to be able to give them a voice. The Imago dialogue process does just that, without judgment.”

The three basic steps include:

Mirroring. Person number one describes the problem in a few sentences, using “I” and feeling words. For example, “I feel shut out when you pick up your phone when I’m talking.” 

Person number two repeats it back as closely as possible. “You feel shut out when I pick up my phone when you’re talking.” It may take a few attempts to get it right. Person number two then asks if there’s more to that feeling, and again repeats the phrases back.

Validating. Person number two responds showing respect for the problem, with words like, “I can see why …”

Showing Empathy. Person number two searches for the place inside himself or herself that connects with person number one’s concerns. “I get upset, too, when it feels like someone cuts off a conversation.”

Then, they reverse positions and go through it again. Demonstrations can be found on YouTube and worksheets can be viewed at PositivePsychology.com.


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Tick Talk

Spring officially sprung on March 21. We have turned our clocks ahead. We are looking forward to warm winds, sunny skies and the smell of fresh cut grass. The daffodils and tulips have recently bloomed and we are just starting with the yard work that comes with the warmer weather.  Sadly, another season has started ramping up.  Tick season.

•             The best form of protection is prevention. Educating oneself about tick activity and how our behaviors overlap with tick habitats is the first step.

•             According to the NJ DOH, in 2022 Hunterdon County led the state with a Lyme disease incidence rate of 426 cases per 100,000 people. The fact is ticks spend approximately 90% of their lives not on a host but aggressively searching for one, molting to their next stage or over-wintering. This is why a tick remediation program should be implemented on school grounds where NJ DOH deems high risk for tick exposure and subsequent attachment to human hosts.

•             Governor Murphy has signed a bill that mandates tick education in NJ public schools. See this for the details.  Tick education must now be incorporated into K-12 school curriculum. See link:

https://www.nj.gov/education/broadcasts/2023/sept/27/TicksandTick-BorneIllnessEducation.pdf

•             May is a great month to remind the public that tick activity is in full swing. In New Jersey, there are many tickborne diseases that affect residents, including Anaplasmosis, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, Lyme disease, Powassan, and Spotted Fever Group Rickettsiosis.

•             For years, the focus has mainly been about protecting ourselves from Lyme disease. But other tick-borne diseases are on the rise in Central Jersey. An increase of incidence of Babesia and Anaplasma are sidelining people too. These two pathogens are scary because they effect our blood cells. Babesia affects the red blood cells and Anaplasma effects the white blood cells.

•             Ticks can be infected with more than one pathogen. When you contract Lyme it is possible to contract more than just that one disease. This is called a co-infection. It is super important to pay attention to your symptoms. See link.

https://twp.freehold.nj.us/480/Disease-Co-Infection

A good resource from the State:

https://www.nj.gov/health/cd/topics/tickborne.shtml

 

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